I'm visiting my mother in Medford, New Jersey. It's raining- cold, cold rain but not ice yet. I try to get her stocked up on things when I'm here. She really needs some new slacks, but her shape is very odd at age 92. I thought I had a brilliant idea, "Mom, maybe you should try maternity pants." (Because they have a panel in front.)
Her hearing isn't so good.
"Virginity pants?" she answered. Then we both cracked up.