Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Why I dread the telephone


Busy at my desk when the phone rings, and Jon's in the basement.

"Hello, may I speak to Sally Cruikshank?" (charming young man's voice.)
"This is she."
"I have Sheila Dumptruck on the line on behalf of Harvey Gasbag. Please hold."
I grab paper, wonder what this is about. Harvey Gasbag is a big producer who has his own company even.

Wait two minutes. Sheila's on the line.
"Sally, been so long. Remember me?"
(no)
"I used to work for Stuart Lostwallet."
(some agent who found me no work and never bought lunch.)

Sheila continues:"I'm a big fan.. and so is Harvey"

Now I'm thinking she's calling because Sir Gasbag has heard I have interesting ideas and would like to develop them. I'm thinking I've just won the lottery. I feel lively and perky. Yes, Sheila, yes!


But that's not what it's about. She's calling to ask me to vote for Gasbag's latest film as Best Picture. Man, they've got to be desperate if they're calling me.

all the words I'm thinking but don't say as I politely say I'll look at the Gasbag Epic. (But I won't.) I would have rather gotten one of those pre-recorded Bill Clinton phone calls.

11 comments:

Katy said...

Vote where? in the New Hampshire primary? Draw more, please, show more drawings, please. Wonderful stuff, gasbag politicos and all.

Linda said...

This is disgusting.

But I love the phone's expressions.
And the NAMES! Sheila Dumptruck, Harvey Gasbag, Stuart Lostwallet. These are real people for sure, and the names sound so natural.

To think you'd have to WAIT for 2 minutes for Sheila Dumbtruck even to come to the phone!

p.s. When Jon's not in the basement, he always answers the phone, right? (At least that's how it works around here.)

Sally said...

actually this vote was for Academy Awards, and they were trolling through the list of animation members.

Linda funny how those names just seem to fit them. But what WAS the name of Sir Gasbag's movie? Almost worth a conest there.

How Big was My Pillow
What's for Dessert?
The Great Cheese Eaters
Enter, my Agent
Another Disease
That's MY Prius!

and yes, it was the two minute wait that put me over the top.

movingarden said...

What a pain! I love your drawings and commentary!

sal said...

The drawings are wonderful! Thanks for posting this. Usually if I answer the phone I regret it.

Namowal said...

They had some nerve, piling on the flattery, making you wait and then asking for a vote. Jackasses! Sheesh!
It is terrific blog material. The pictures are so funny. I like how the phone is reacting along with you as you go from hopeful to outraged.
Maybe it should be animated.
And yes, the names were funny.

The name of the film? I'll guess "Enter My Agent" before googling out of curiousity...!

Bruce said...

I read once that Pablo Picasso was asked why he didn't have a telephone in his studio, and he said "If I had one, and it rang, I'd have to answer it."

Sally said...

funny how many of us seem to have phone dread, when it's the main method of communication these days. I'm working on a cartoon for cel phones, and I don't even own a cel phone.

Here is David Lynch's take on movies playing on cel phones. (Uses the f word emphatically at end.)

Namowal said...

Heh heh.
If iphones made weird ambient noises, shrieked and squirted gloop, David Lynch would be first in line to get one...
maybe he should design one that did it as an art piece:
the lphone.

sal said...

I always think of Dorothy Parker's famous line when the phone rang: "What fresh hell is this?"

Sally said...

Namowal, I'm sure you're right.
Sal, great quote, and one I'd never heard before.